Looking Back and Looking Forward at the End of my M.A. Experience

The title of “scholar” was one that intimidated me since before I began my graduate studies -- it felt as though I would never be able to achieve it. Yet the final question asked during the defense of my culminating project for this M.A. in English degree was “how do you feel now that you have joined the scholarly community with your own unique intervention?” To hear that question of recognition and welcome was truly an honor. I can honestly say that I achieved what I had hoped to over the course of my two years in this grad program. Along the way, I’ve learned that becoming a scholar is less about being inherently intelligent and more about learning scholarly conventions in order to make a contribution to the conversations that already exist. I can definitely attest to the fact that hard work, humility, and perseverance made it possible.

The Culminating Experience:

To provide some context for my journey, I thought it would be helpful to share a little bit about the M.A. process at San Diego State. I chose the portfolio option, meaning I revised my star paper to the point that I might feasibly submit it for publication. The portfolio workshop began in January. It was truly a rigorous and demanding process. I was able to engage with children’s literature seriously and had very high standards to meet regarding the quality of my research and writing. One of the biggest takeaways was certainly my development of endurance. While I hadn’t really ever had a problem with working hard, I was used to completing and then submitting assignments -- done. Though I taught revision in my composition classes, I didn’t actually have to do it myself as a student. In the workshop, however, I had to submit section after section of my paper for the weekly assignments, then go back and revise based on the feedback I received from my peers and professor while also preparing another section for the following week. It got to the point where I dreaded reading my own words, and did all of my other assignments to avoid having to revise.

My main support throughout this process was the peers who endured it with me. We were all on the same schedule, which meant that we had to meet the same deadlines. Even so, the chance to chat in casual breakout room conversations at the beginning of class allowed us to destress. It is easy to complain about the detriments of online learning, but I believe having to undergo the portfolio workshop on Zoom while still in a global pandemic gave us the opportunity to be more vocal about all of the other things that affect the writing process. We were able to be vulnerable about impostor’s syndrome, about the struggle of researching, and about losing sight of what we had loved about our papers. Through it all, we supported one another emotionally and intellectually so that we all had intensely revised portfolios to submit by the beginning of April.

The portfolio was comprised of the star paper, a secondary paper, and an annotated bibliography, all of which I had to be prepared to discuss during my defense. My advisor and an examiner read the portfolio two weeks in advance, during which time I prepared for the questions I would likely receive. We practiced answering questions aloud in the portfolio workshop, and all too soon, it was time for the defense. Upon beginning, I was immediately overwhelmed with gratitude for the generous, thoughtful engagement of my advisor and examiner with my work. They expressed their interest in my subject matter even though Asian American children’s literature is a niche in the field of children’s literature. Their questions were specific to the content of my paper, indicating that they had read it thoroughly and could see new directions in which my ideas could expand. They were also curious about my overall journey as a student throughout my two years in the program. The conversation was very enjoyable. Terrifying at first, but ultimately very fun. It was an experience I will always be grateful for, and I expressed that sentiment in response to that final question I was posed. I feel confident taking this paper to present at ChLA 2021 to test out its readiness for eventual publication. My scholarly journey has only just begun.

 

Graduate Assistantship:

The rigors of graduate-level literary study were certainly rewarding, but I also had other opportunities outside of the classroom for which I am thankful. The graduate assistantship that allows me to write these blog posts has been a fun, informal way to engage with the scholarly community. I had the chance to read and write on hot-off-the-press books, learn about the use of social media, correspond with leading intellectuals in the field via email and Twitter, attend a conference, join professional organizations, and be involved in lectures by notable scholars. More importantly, being a graduate assistant allowed me to see and validate passion for the study of children’s literature. I am forever grateful to Dr. Joseph Thomas, our Director, as well as my fellow graduate assistants, Sofia and Natalie, for sharing this space with me.

 

Teaching:

As I’ve written about before, SDSU gives graduate students the opportunity to teach first-year composition and literature courses. I won’t take up too much space reiterating it here, but thanks to those opportunities, I can pursue teaching as a career with confidence. I received extensive pedagogical training before and during the courses I taught, and professional development events were frequent and timely. I am certain that I can take all that I learned at my time at SDSU to whatever campuses I am at in the future!

 

A final word:

It’s hard to not get sentimental, as this is likely the last blog post I will write for the National Center for the Study of Children’s Literature. If even one person reads to the end, I will always be grateful that my words were worth your time. Thank you for this space, and I truly look forward to ongoing engagement with the study of children’s and young adult literature as a newly minted scholar.

 - (A.N.)

 

 

 

 

 

What is an Independent Study?

 You may have heard of the term “independent study” before, and may be wondering what it means. An independent study is not, like it may sound, quiet time in your schedule for you to get your homework done. It is an undergraduate- or graduate-level self-designed course in which you create your own syllabus and assignments under the guidance of a professor whom you request to be your advisor. 

Pros:

There are so many pros to doing an independent study. One of the exciting aspects of it is how it is self-designed with guidance from the professor, and since it is self-designed, you can hone in on your interests with the course theme. Sometimes independent studies give the opportunity to create a portfolio paper in a dedicated space that is honed in on those interests. Independent studies allow students to take a class on a topic that may not be offered otherwise.  Through researching specific scholarship of your own interest, this is a great chance to create a portfolio paper you may not have been able to write if the class is not offered. Doing an independent study is a little bit like creating your own class. Through such a level of freedom, you can explore what interests you for a whole semester. 

Sofia: 

I took an independent study on grief in queer young adult literature. Already my favourite area of interest, the independent study allowed for her to explore such a specific topic and how grief in queer literature varies throughout a specific form of children’s literature, that is, adolescent or young adult literature. After already taking a class on queer adolescent literature, I felt drawn to the older end of the spectrum of children’s literature, and focusing on both a specific age group and topic truly shows the range that can occur even in such a specific genre. Focusing in on a small area allows for variances to illuminate the various aspects of queer young adult literature. Learning more about a specific area of children’s literature and its nuance allowed me a chance to explore a narrowed interest that may not have the opportunity to be offered within our program. 

Ashley:

I am currently in the process of completing a two-semester independent study sequence of Asian American literary and cultural studies followed by Asian American children’s literature. The first independent study was beneficial because I learned how to independently go about researching and familiarizing myself with a field that I had never taken a course in. But I soon faced the challenge of reconceptualizing the role of the secondary sources that supplement the main texts. The critical scholarship that had been integrated into previous graduate seminars, in my mind, were important because the instructor deemed them so, but in these independent studies, I chose what was relevant to what I wanted to study. I was guided to understand that even core scholarship such as Immigrant Acts by Lisa Lowe was groundbreaking in its time but should not be conceived of as an unflawed foundation on which to build my current studies. Taking this concept into the second semester of independent study, which is ongoing, I am currently oscillating between attempting to develop a comprehensive familiarity of the children’s literature field and creating an original contribution to the conversation in the form of a final paper.There is no way that I will ever fully understand every article published in this field, and so I must develop a general understanding and then zero in on the scholarship that is most relevant to my thesis. I am moving away from merely criticizing the texts I read to highlighting what is productive in them. While I've gone back to the drawing board many times, the chance to keep exploring has been an enjoyable process. As my advisor would say, none of my reading and research is ever wasted! I feel confident that the threads of the ideas I have come up with will intertwine into a strong contribution to the area of Asian American children’s literature by the end of my M.A. career. 

Cons: 

However, we do want to warn you of some of the difficulties that we’ve faced in our experience with independent studies. As the student with the course concept, you have to find a professor whose research is similar to that which you want to study, or who is willing to guide you through a field that may not be their expertise. Additionally, you have to create your own syllabus, which includes the main texts you will read, what secondary materials can complement those texts, and what assignments you will produce as a result of the course. Some struggles, successes, and advice about that journey can be found in Ashley’s earlier blog post about “A Graduate Student’s First Attempt at Summer Research.” During the course of the semester, you are responsible for keeping up with the syllabus you create, and since your meetings with the professor are one-on-one, there’s no hiding what you didn’t read! You also do not benefit from the contribution of classmates. All of this is compounded in our current virtual learning environment, in which Zoom fatigue is a barrier to lively and generative conversation.  

Our overall experience:

Overall, we can both agree that we had fantastic experiences in our independent studies. It is important to emphasize here that what you put into an independent study is what you will receive. We both experienced a push to become our own scholars and advocate for ourselves and what we wanted from our classes, and therefore our professors knew what to give in our learning experience. Putting in the time and energy produces rigorous conversations (verbal or written) to create an interesting final paper. Independent studies are intellectually challenging, and therefore, incredibly rewarding -- we figured out what contribution we can make to the field of literary studies. 

Independent research has been an irreplaceable opportunity to create a focused, well-researched paper to contribute to our portfolios (one of two culminating project options for English MA students at SDSU). We both grew as scholars, developing self-motivation and time management skills. It can be difficult to study alone and not have fellow classmates to reach out to, so we both agree that we learned to be productive and self-sufficient scholars. We highly encourage undergraduate or graduate students to take an independent study as part of their academic journeys.